


Nothing Can Hurt Me

by EmilyBea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyBea/pseuds/EmilyBea
Summary: CS one-shot that rewrites the ending of 4x23. This has the angst of a would-be goodbye and none of the follow through. If you do not like overly fluffy happy endings, this fic is not for you. If, however, you want a solid dose of hope and a much needed true love’s kiss, please enjoy!
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31





	Nothing Can Hurt Me

**_A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you are all well and surviving as best you can in this strange and stressful time. I know I personally have needed some hope and light and love, and writing has been one way for me to try and find it. That’s what motivated this little drabble, which is a rewrite of the end of season 4. I once shared a rewrite for the reunion in that episode (4x23), but this is the final scene where Emma sacrifices herself to the darkness. I know it has been AGES since I rewrote a scene of Once, but this song ('Nothing Can Hurt Me' by Frida Sundemo) gave me the idea and… well, you can all be the judge of how I did. Anyway, thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy!_ **

Running from Gold’s shop to the center of town, Emma felt the weight of all this chaos gripping her tighter and tighter.

So much had happened – so much was always freaking happening – and the crazy train in this town never showed any signs of stopping. Apparently, they needed Merlin (you know, like the magical wizard from the legends of Camelot) to be rid of this dark force, but there was no indication of how to go about finding him. They had nothing but yet another vague clue, and if Emma gave her thoughts any space to dwell on that, she’d probably go mad. Instead she channeled all the frustration and fear into running. They had no choice. They had to fight. It was the only way.

“Where is it?” she asked, sprinting towards the center of town with Killian hot on her heels.

“We don’t know,” her father answered, scanning her over, and seeing she was no worse for wear despite this latest upset.

“It just disappeared into the night,” her mother affirmed, gazing to the skyline for any trace of the magic that was hunting them all. Her archer’s instinct was on full display, and if anyone was going to see movement in the dark of the night it would be Snow White. Emma for her part looked out there and saw nothing but the inky black sky and the eerily quiet streets of Storybrooke.

“What’s going on?” Regina asked, appearing from down the way with Robin at her side. Killian explained to the best of his ability, allowing Emma to keep watch.

“The Dark One, it’s no longer tethered to the Crocodile.”

“What? Where the hell is it?”

The edge in Regina’s voice was reminiscent of tones Emma had heard from the Evil Queen, but Emma knew it was not just anger that made for the change in Regina. It was fear too. Still, they had to keep searching. Emma’s eyes traced over everything, hoping for a sign even while praying this was all just some kind of bad dream. Then it dawned on her, they couldn’t see it because it was everywhere. This force of nature was as smart as it was evil, a malicious magic intent on harming anything that wandered into its path or stood in its way. Right now, it had no need to show itself, and instead it was spreading as far and wide as it could. The presence of it stopped the air from circulating. The darkness hung just out of sight, but it stifled everything. The only thing Emma could hear for a moment was the crackling of the electricity flowing through the powerlines and her own heart, thumping at a faster rate than normal, pumping adrenaline to every part of her.

Distracted by the silence, Emma missed the tentacled approach of the magic until she heard the breath leave Regina’s lungs. The Queen’s gasp was swift, but the magic was swifter, circling her, and strangling the very life out of her in seconds.

“Regina!” Robin yelled, but Emma barely heard him. Her instincts were crying out to her to help. Use magic! Do something! But she couldn’t. Her panic was winning over and she felt untethered to anything like hope. Moments passed where they all looked on helplessly, and only when Robin realized his efforts were futile did he look to Emma. “What’s it doing?”

“What darkness does,” Emma said, watching Regina grow dimmer and colder. “It’s snuffing out the light.”

“Well I’m not going to let it,” Robin said, running towards the woman he loved only to be thrust back full force to the ground. It was no use. They couldn’t break through. The Dark One’s magic was too powerful.

“That’s not going to work on this thing!” Emma said, wanting to keep Robin from hurting himself anymore. “The apprentice told me we have to do what the sorcerer did. We have to tether it to a person to contain it.”

And then it hit her, _That person is me. It has to be. It’s the only way_.

Finally, her body caught up with her mind. She walked towards the darkness, repellent as it was, as her parents cried out for her not to go. The only thing that stopped her, however, was Regina’s desperate plea.

“Emma, no!” she forced out, barely holding the darkness at bay but trying with all her might. “There has to be another way.”

“There isn’t,” Emma said, the sick feeling of acceptance washing over her.

The truth was Regina simply wasn’t strong enough to resist the magic’s pull, and despite her attempts to change of late, she wasn’t good enough in her heart to stave something like this off. She had already shown how easy it was for evil to corrupt her, changed intentions or not. With the power of the Dark One… Emma shuddered to even imagine Regina. She’d be even more murderous and deranged than she had been years ago when she was trying to kill her parents and everyone who questioned her power. No, they couldn’t risk Regina being given this curse. They wouldn’t survive.

So this was the moment, then. The one where, after finally feeling like she had a real freaking chance at being happy, Emma was going to give it all up. She was going to trade in this life of promise and positive what-ifs and take instead a sickeningly scary magic that would likely eat her up from the inside out. But it was the only thing that would save them all. Her parents, Henry, Killian… when she looked at it that way, it was a simple choice.

_Maybe I live, maybe I don’t, but my life for theirs… I’d make that deal with nothing like regret._

“Emma, no!” her father yelled as she moved towards the darkness. She looked to him and her mother, seeing Killian beside them. Her heart ached, but she shook her head at him. There was no debate in this. It had to be this way.

“You figured out how to take the darkness out of me once. You need to do it again. As heroes.”

“Emma! Emma, please!” Killian begged, running towards her and holding her hand, a final tether to the light. God, she loved this man. And here she was, breaking him apart in a million tiny pieces. “Don’t do this, love. Please.”

Looking in his ocean colored eyes, she saw a flash of everything they could have had if things were different. She knew, in her gut, that this was the only man for her, the only one who could tear down her walls and bolster her up in one fell swoop. He loved her unconditionally and without fail. He’d surrendered so much sooner to the feelings between them, showing her vulnerability that she needed to feel safe and sure, but they were both caught in the same blissful and scary as hell current. He was her soulmate, and this may be the last time she ever saw him.

“I love you,” she confessed, seeing the moment of recognition in his eyes. He’d already known her feelings even if the words never left her lips. They were impossible to hide even though she’d tried so desperately, but the words were coming at the most excruciating time, and even to her ears, they sounded an awful lot like a final goodbye.

_Just one more kiss,_ she thought to herself, pulling him into her and letting the touch of his lips and his warm embrace breathe life into her. For a moment the darkness was nowhere in sight. It was just them. Just their love. Just the hope they shared together, and the dedication of two wills that would give anything to be together. Breaking away was the hardest thing she’d ever done, made all the worse by the fact that she had to take advantage of his distraction to push him back. When she did, she flung herself into the darkness and felt the magic swarm from Regina into her.

The feeling of it coiling around her made her blood run cold, as if she were submerged in ice water. She wanted to shiver from the chill, but could barely move. It was like being stuck in a vat of cement as the darkness descended. An anguished cry sounded out around her, and Emma realized that was her own pain emanating from her chest. The sharp sides of this magic were slicing into her, and unbiddenly she closed her eyes. A montage of the worst memories of her life flashed before her, ripping at old wounds that had never really healed.

It started with the slow crescendo of her childhood, a silent kind of torture where the defining part of every memory was the way she was always left behind. Families she was placed with, other kids in the system, teachers, case workers, all of them abandoned her in one way or another. None of them stayed, and in the end, it was always Emma left standing on her own, lost and forgotten and never ever chosen.

The memories flashed forward to Neal and the heartbreak of giving her love only to have it destroyed and tossed aside like it was nothing. The betrayal of his choices and the sting of losing yet another person, this time in a more malicious way made her as angry as it did sad. Still that was nothing at all to the realization that she was pregnant and the choice she knew she had to make to give Henry up for adoption when she was in jail. That sadness and that heartache was a bone deep one she was sure would never heal.

Only it did, in part, when she came back to Storybrooke. She was finally getting the chance to build a life, reconnecting with her son, but that was mired down by recent memories of Regina being a certifiable nightmare and the jarring moments she’d faced, like Graham’s sudden death. Emma had the comfort of Henry always, but even that had put so much pressure on her. She felt like a failure as a mother, always doubting she could be enough for her brilliant boy and torn between wanting him to have Regina in his life and knowing that Regina had also been deeply flawed in trying to raise her son. Oftentimes it felt like the only thing that got her through that initial time in Storybrooke was finding a true friend in Mary Margaret. She was the first real friend Emma had in her life.

Then she felt the moment that the truth was revealed. Of course, she was shocked with the news that Mary Margaret and David were really her parents, but along with the revelation that she had a family who loved and wanted her, there came a lot of pain, pain that they’d ever given her up in the first place, and pain that she had now lost that special friendship forever. It would never be the same for her and Mary Margaret when she was really Snow, and while she may love her parents dearly now, and had made more peace with their decision to make her a savior instead of a stable and securely loved little girl, it still inflicted so much pain on her and let a little more darkness creep into her heart.

When she’d made the choice to be back in Henry’s life again, she promised herself and her son that she would never do the same. She wouldn’t leave him, not when he deserved her love front and center in his life. But here she was going back on that promise. She didn’t want to leave, but she was barely even here anymore. The darkness had overtaken her. In one last show of strength, she opened her eyes and saw something that broke through the mind-numbing pain of this evil torture – Henry was out there, holding onto Killian and looking on in horror at her being consumed by this.

The tears rained down Henry’s face and she could see him yelling for her, but she couldn’t hear it. The whip of the magic’s winds was too strong. She realized he was actually trying to break through to get to her, but it was Killian holding him back. Looking to her pirate, Emma saw the pain in his gaze, as well as the determination. Determination to keep her son safe even though his own instincts must be screaming at him to try and help her too. God how she loved him. She only wished she’d been brave enough to tell him sooner.

_Hold onto the love,_ _Emma_ , a voice said to her, one that was vaguely familiar but certainly not hers. She did as it said, thinking of the possibilities for her and for Killian. In admitting her feelings, she had opened the door to wanting so much more. She could see things that she never imagined would ever come to pass – a real relationship with dating and affection, a marriage, a family. It was all so picturesque, and yes, it was what she would call a happily ever after, but at the heart of it all there would be one basic ingredient – true and everlasting love.

As if the thought alone sparked something, Emma felt the dark magic flinch. Curious, she continued her test. Finding strength from within, she spoke aloud, finding a command in her tone she never expected. “I love Killian and that love is true. Nothing this darkness does is ever going to change that.”

As if she’d whispered out a spell, magic burst forth, this time in her own familiar shade of bright golden white. It was small at first, but it created a barrier around her, letting her breathe in deeply and recenter herself. She was in awe at the display of power here, amazed that she was able to put up any kind of fight, so she kept going, knowing she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t try.

“I love my parents and my son so much more than I ever thought I could. I used to be afraid to care so much, but I’m not afraid anymore. Not with Henry. Not with my family.”

Again, the magic grew brighter and this time it began to merge with the darkness, touching the blackness that was trying to destroy her and neutralizing it. The color shifted from midnight to onyx, from cobalt to lighter gray, then the darkness was nothing more than a silvery shimmer. Slowly her lighter magic worked through the attacking succubus, and though there was a sound in the air crying out like a wounded animal, Emma knew it was the dying of darkness that was making that cry. The threat, miraculously, was fading, and it was love, and her, that made it possible.

“And most importantly, I can love and accept love because I learned to love myself. I didn’t know that was possible, but now I know that real love, true loves, require that. Because I love myself, I let love guide me. Because I love myself, nothing can hurt me.”

That was it, the last of the darkness was extinguished and the dark one’s dagger fell to the ground, no name etched in its blade any longer. Then they all watched as Emma’s light magic burst forward in a glorious gust, washing out over all of them and beyond. Emma felt it extending to the outer limits of Storybrooke. Her magic had created a layer of protection, a spell made to safeguard all the people she loved. She only had a few seconds to appreciate that, and then she felt Henry lurching towards her in a back breaking hug filled with relief.

“Mom, you did it! You destroyed the darkness, and you saved us all.”

“You think it’s really gone?” Snow asked and Regina and Emma replied at the same time with a resounding “Yes.”

“There’s nothing left of it,” Regina said, flicking her fingers towards the air and pushing her own magic out to test the waters. It’s just…gone.”

“But how?” Killian asked, still standing at somewhat of a distance, his shock so palpable it had frozen him in place.

Emma could see his resistance to believe that this had all concluded this way. He knew the moment she stepped forward the choice she was making in sacrificing herself. She was supposed to leave, supposed to be lost. They were going to be separated through time and space and whatever other fresh hell the Dark One had in store, but here she was, still alive and still very much in one piece. Instinctively she moved towards him, wrapping him up in a hug and loving the feeling when he held her close. They became each other’s anchors to this miraculous moment, and despite the exertion of what had just happened, she felt energized and ready.

“I don’t understand,” Killian murmured, looking into her eyes once more and shaking his head. His hook came to push a strand of her wayward hair back as he gazed at her in wonder. “Merlin was supposed to be the answer. The Apprentice was clear. How did you do it?”

“Love,” Emma said with a smile before rolling her eyes at herself and letting out a groan. God that sounded so freaking cheesy and even if she was eternally grateful for the magic in their love, it was still too much for her to really stomach. “Wow, that sounds corny, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think it sounds ‘corny’ at all,” her mother said with a bit of huffiness, defensive of the true love status she and David had.

“So in the end all it took was true love’s kiss?” Regina asked, shaking her head as Robin pulled her in his arms and whispered in her ear to be nice. She laughed and then softened her commentary. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be done with this, but we had plenty of that to spare. You think someone might have mentioned it.”

“I don’t think it was that simple,” Emma said, explaining what had happened to her inside that force field. She explained that Killian and Henry and the others were her tethers, but the magic was only complete when she believed in herself.

“You were right then, Swan,” Killian said, holding her hand tightly. “It had to be you. No one else could have handled that as you did.”

“Well except Merlin,” Henry said with a shrug. “But you know what, I bet it was never even about Merlin in the first place.”

“You think?” Emma asked, intrigued and Henry nodded.

“Yeah. I mean every time heroes get sent on a quest it’s about learning a lesson, right?” They all nodded. “And every time anything happens in Storybrooke it’s all of us who have to fix the problem starting with ourselves. The answers are in us the whole time. Especially you, Mom.”

“You know what, kid, I think you may be right.”

“Well you know what that means,” Henry said though no one hazarded a guess. “Since we saved the day we get to celebrate. Cocoa at Granny’s. I’m paying.” Emma looked at Henry quizzically, silently asking where he would have gotten that kind of money. Henry only laughed. “Okay, actually Grandpa’s paying.”

“Works for me,” her Dad agreed, clapping Henry on the shoulder affectionately. From there everyone headed towards the diner, but Emma and Killian lingered a moment more.

“So, it’s really behind us then?” Killian asked.

“Yes, it’s behind us. Can’t promise how long it’ll stay calm and collected here – we haven’t got a great track record in that department – but the Dark One is done. That much I know.”

“And what you said earlier…” Killian couldn’t bring himself to ask the words aloud so Emma moved in closer, running her hand against his jaw and offering him a smile.

“I meant it, Killian, and I am not taking it back. I love you. I really, truly do.”

“Thank the Gods for that, love.”

And with that the two of them kissed, sharing a moment of sheer pleasure and joy. They had averted a crisis and they still had the chance to make this thing between them work. This was a new day for the two of them, and the start of something Emma was eager and a little anxious to explore further.

At the corner of her mind she heard something. Like the sizzle of pancakes on a griddle, or the popping of air in a bubbly drink. She and Killian broke apart, and there it was – that rainbow tinted magic she’d only seen a few times before.

“True love’s kiss,” she whispered, and then the two of them watched as the dagger that once was deteriorated before their eyes. Soon it was nothing more than ash, and as it blew away in the breeze the magic of their embrace rid it from the world entirely.

“Finally,” Killian said, as if he’d been waiting for them to share such a moment forever.

“Been waiting on that have you?” she joked and he looked properly chastised before letting his boyish grin go free.

“Perhaps. Though can you really blame me, Swan? In this town it’s practically a right of passage. Your father and mother certainly talk of little else, and since there is no way anyone loves their partners more than I love you, I just thought –,”

Before he could ramble on about his competitive pirate nature, Emma pulled him by the collar down for another kiss. That successfully silenced him and distracted them both, grounding them in how lucky they were to have this and to have each other. And though they couldn’t steal more than a few more moments together before rejoining the others, Emma knew that they had so much more to live together. For in choosing love, she’d cemented their future, and that future was looking bright, and hopeful, and so much happier than she ever could have dreamed.

……………

_Noises from the window_

_Flashes from the street_

_Tired in the backseat_

_And nothing could hurt me_

_Surrounded by the talking_

_Swallowed by the rain_

_Sleeping in the backseat_

_I know that nothing could hurt me_

_It was a long time ago_

_I'm far away but feel like home_

_We're all awake in stereo_

_Keeping the moving ground aglow_

_And nothing can hurt me_

_Yeah, nothing can hurt me_

_I know that nothing can hurt me_

_Yeah, nothing can hurt me_

_I can see you with my eyes shut_

_It flickers past me now_

_Listen to distant chatter_

_I know that everything's alright_

_It was a long time ago_

_I'm far away but feel like home_

_We're all awake in stereo_

_Keeping the moving ground aglow_

_And nothing can hurt me_

_Yeah, nothing can hurt me_

_I know that nothing can hurt me_

_Yeah, nothing can hurt me_

_Nothing that they'd ever do_

_Could never dim any light from the view_

_And any gravel that gets in my way_

_Could never break me apart anyway_

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. I know some of you may be wondering why I felt the need to rewrite this scene, when it brought us to all of the season 5 storylines, but to be honest, I had a very difficult time with this episode when it first aired for two reasons. The first was that yet again Emma was sacrificing herself for everyone, and she just couldn’t have a happy moment. I literally watched the show for Emma. Yes, also for CS, but mostly for Emma herself and as an Emma stan it was just brutal to watch her get the short end of the stick every damn time. But more than that, the written dialogue in the original scene has Emma sacrifice herself in Regina’s place because Regina, ‘worked too hard for her happy ending.’ I always thought that was kind of ridiculous, and I liked Regina as a character. It just wasn’t really true in my estimation. I felt like Emma had worked much harder and had been so much kinder to people, overcoming trauma that was really bad and which made her so guarded and always made her second guess her own worth. But she was still forced to just continuously sacrifice herself and to undermine her own growth for the sake of Regina’s getting some other-character endorsement. I don’t know, like I said, complicated, and many of you may not agree. But I hope you’ll all read this as what it is – an attempt to give everyone a fluffier, nicer outcome. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and see you all next time!_ **


End file.
